As a child growing up in the Mmari household, the last thing we wanted to hear at night right before going bed, was the sound of tap water running in the kitchen sink 😫.
Why? Because it meant that mum was in there, with her sleeves rolled up and her head facing down, laser focused on washing the dirty dishes, no matter how many were piled up in the sink.
Being the lazy children that we were, all we could think of, silently in our little heads was: “It’s 11pm woman 😭 we are all tired, you included. We all want to sleep. Tomorrow is another day. Our helper is even coming in. Why on Earth are we washing the dishes now 😩. Can’t we do it in the morning????”
But unfortunately, because we were all minors that lived under her roof, we had to follow her rules, lest we get evicted into the streets of Swaziland to fend for ourselves. Thus, instead of complaining, rebelling or voicing out our extremist thoughts. We reluctantly accepted our fate, clenched our teeth, held back the tears, picked our station of choice for the night (i.e drying the dishes or packing them away), rolled up our sleeves and joined in on the torture. Right up until the very last teaspoon was washed, dried, and packed away neatly in the cutlery drawer.
As a child, I didn’t really understand why she did this. It was a very difficult concept for me and my still-developing pre-frontal cortex to fully comprehend. But as an adult, in my mid-30s, with a 9-5 job, living in my own house, with my own family - I finally get it now.
I 👏🏽 absolutely 👏🏽 hate 👏🏽 waking 👏🏽 up 👏🏽 to 👏🏽 dirty 👏🏽 dishes 👏🏽 and 👏🏽 an 👏🏽 unclean 👏🏽 kitchen. 😮💨
It’s literally the bane of my adult existence. And even though I despise it so much, I’ll still be the first to admit that it’s a very tempting exercise to skip out on each night, but every time I do skip it, I instantly regret it the next morning, without fail.
So what are the benefits of this torturous tedious task, you ask?:
- You wake up to a clean kitchen.
- You start the next day on a clean slate, without any debts to pay.
- You don’t negatively impact other people who share the kitchen with you.
- You can immediately start cooking your next meal without any daunting pre-work.
Yes it will take some time and yes, it means going to bed a bit later but it will be well worth it in the morning.
As is the case with most lessons we learn as kids, it’s only as an adult that I’ve realised the deeper meaning behind this seemingly futile activity. It turns out this exercise wasn’t just about the dirty dishes or the kitchen sink in the literal sense. "Dirty dishes" can be anything that’s weighing on you heavily which you find extremely easy to postpone for your future self to deal with.
Dirty dishes could represent negative thoughts, regrets, mistakes, lingering decisions, emotional residue, or unfinished discussions that you really ought to have. Left unattended, they quietly pile up, taking up precious mental space, making it harder for you to feel calm or present. Because deep down inside you know very well that you'll need to tend to them eventually.
It’s like how marriage counsellors tell couples not to go to bed while still being mad at each other, for the sake of the relationship? Yeah, well my mum says don’t go to bed with dirty dishes in your kitchen sink - whatever "dirty dishes" means to you.
So you should just wash the dirty dishes every night before you sleep.
Even if you don’t want to, just do it. You’ll thank me (and my mum) later.
T4aM