life

Always Wash Your Dirty Dishes Before You Sleep

As a child growing up in the Mmari household, the last thing we wanted to hear at night right before going bed, was the sound of tap water running in the kitchen sink 😫.

career

Stop sleepwalking through your career

As a career sleepwalker you follow the same mundane cycle day-in day-out, and end up working towards goals, milestones, and achievements that you might not really want for yourself. You just do it because you “should”, because you “have to” or because it “makes sense”.

engineering

7 Reasons Why You Should Not Become an Engineering Manager

Making the transition from Individual Contributor (IC) to Engineering Manager (EM) is a career change that should not be taken lightly. In this post, I expand on 7 reasons why you might want to reconsider making the switch.

emotions

Dealing With My Emotional Triggers

“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you”

poetry

Anxiety

Peace is scary. Serenity is concerning. The feeling of equilibrium almost feels too good to be true.

career

My Transition from Individual Contributor to Engineering Manager at Zappi - the 4 lessons I’ve learned so far

In this post, I’d like to give a breakdown of what my transition from IC to EM has been like by touching on some of the lessons I’ve learned as well as the challenges that I have faced along the way.

love

This Type of Love Feels Strange To Me

At some point growing up I associated love with abandonment. I love you meant I can't be with you. I love you meant I need to leave you. I love you meant that I'll provide for you financially but I can't be there for you emotionally.

relationships

You. Cannot. Save. Me

You cannot save me. You are not the answer. You will not change my life

relationships

Don't Get Too Close

Scared of being loved by you. What if I can't reciprocate? Afraid of being judged by you. What if that love turns into hate?

poetry

Desire

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.

poetry

Just Published My First Book! - Philosophical Suicide

It’s a bit surreal, to be honest. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s actually happened. It was just a thought in the beginning of 2017 and now, almost 5 years later, that thought has manifested itself into a - remarkably beautiful - tangible product, 100X better than anything I could have ever imagined.

entrepreneurship

Just Do It

Life is way too short to play it safe

life

Dealing With Grief

I don't usually write about death or grief or sadness or mourning. But over the years I've come to learn that we need to explicitly acknowledge and work through our emotions. Instead of continuously dressing them up and then tucking them away where nobody can see them.

life

The Happiness Trap

It seems as though the very moment we reach the end of one race, we immediately want to start another one, why? Because we think that finishing it will finally fulfill us. A cycle that can repeat indefinitely.

work

Why I’m still at Zappi 3.5 years later

While 3 years and 5 months might not seem that long to some people, for someone who - not too long ago - completely gave up on the idea of employment altogether, this is a lifetime.

relationships

What am I holding for myself and others?

I should do better. I can do better, I try to do better but I always fail. It always starts off promising and hopeful but over time as I look into my hands, I realize that I am usually holding onto the wrong things.

poetry

I am grey

Neither here nor there. Fluctuating between black and white. Refusing to commit to either.

relationships

Emotional trauma: figuring out what hurt you.

You will get injured, you will feel pain, and you will get wounded. But you should try your best to ensure that you don’t allow the tragedies of your past relationships to negatively impact the potential of your future ones.

life

Who am I?

"Who I am" cannot be regarded as a static concept, because this idea of who I am is fluid. It's a dynamic, continuous interaction between myself and my environment. Never constant, ever-changing.

religion

The Parable of The Great Swimmer

"Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes."

relationships

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

Many a time along your life's journey you will reach a point where the effort that you put into maintaining and conserving a relationship is significantly outweighed by the negative impact of the relationship and the individual, on your life overall. When you reach this point, you need to let go.

life

The 4 Life Lessons I've Learned From My Brother Isaac

Even though he is my younger brother of +5 years, there are plenty of occasions where I have looked towards him for direction, support, and guidance. Today, to mark his 23rd-year of being on this planet, I’d like to share a few life lessons that I have learned thus far from Mr. Isaac Kirango Mmari.

work

My Experience Of Working As A Remote Software Developer For 2 years

In this post, I will evaluate this idea of working remotely based on my time over the past two years as both a remote member of a cross-continental SCRUM team and as someone who often works remotely from home.

relationships

I Left Your Sunglasses In Thailand

"This is all I have to say" was the last message that you ever sent to me. And from this moment onwards I heard nothing more from you, absolutely nothing whatsoever, despite the fact I tried to reach out to you multiple times after receiving your text message.